Cutting out words to improve Mad Max’s summary

mad max fury road summaryI don’t know who’s responsible for the summary of Mad Max: Fury Road that’s currently loitering on the film’s IMDB page, but it’s got too many words and reads like someone’s trying too hard to sound dramatic. It may be that some random Joe has written this summary, someone with nothing to do with the film itself. Or it may be the production put it forward themselves. Whatever the case, it’s a good candidate for improving. So here’s a little challenge – can this descriptively over-the-top summary be improved simply by removing some words? Have a look below, and you decide:

Let’s look at the summary for Mad Max: Fury Road

The storyline as, apparently, written by the film’s production (according to the IMDB page):

An apocalyptic story set in the furthest reaches of our planet, in a stark desert landscape where humanity is broken, and almost everyone is crazed fighting for the necessities of life. Within this world exist two rebels on the run who just might be able to restore order. There’s Max, a man of action and a man of few words, who seeks peace of mind following the loss of his wife and child in the aftermath of the chaos. And Furiosa, a woman of action and a woman who believes her path to survival may be achieved if she can make it across the desert back to her childhood homeland.

The storyline, as it could be, with a few words cut out:

An apocalyptic story set in a stark desert landscape where everyone is fighting for life. Two rebels on the run just might be able to restore order: Max, a man of few words, who seeks peace of mind following the loss of his wife and child. And Furiosa, a woman who believes survival may be achieved if she can make it back to her childhood home.

That’s just with words removed, not a single one changed. A few minor changes and you could have something a little more appealing yet.

In a stark desert apocalypse where everyone fights for survival, all hope of order rests with two rebels on the run. Max, an outsider mourning the loss of his wife and child, and Furiosa, a woman determined to make it back to her childhood home, must join forces to end the chaos.

Last clause optional. Why not. Estimated budget of $100,000,000 and no one could spare a few minutes to tighten up the text of the one of the film’s most forward-facing fronts of publicity? Come on. Take heed, if you’re writing a summary, cutting words out can help.

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