Letters of complaint are a dying art form in the world of brief emails and multiple choice customer support forms. When I have the time, and the correct inclination, I like to take a step back towards bygone times when all correspondence was given the grace and flair it deserved, even a simple note of discontent. I have posted one of my letters to the blog, here, but I think they belong on a page of their own. In part because they are timeless examples for other consumers to learn from, and in part because they are deliberately excessively long and over-the-top.
1. Letter to McVites (Small Flapjacks)
This rather simple letter details the background to and consequences of my buying a pack of Snickers Flapjacks which turned out to be very unfulfilling.
2. Letter to Sainsburys (Chocolate Milk Explosion)
One of my greater achievements, gaining £30 compensation, albeit for a very traumatising experience in which a bottle of chocolate milk threatened my life. This was the second of such milk complaints I have had to write in my lifetime, though sadly the first letter has not survived the test of time.
3. Letter to Somerfield (Melting Ready Meal)
I never received a reply to this letter, which was really quite disgraceful considering their product melted. And now the company’s been taken over. Coincidence? You decide.
4. Letter to HTC (Phone Repairs)
The lengthy up and down love affair I’ve had with smartphones.
5. Letter to Ben and Jerry’s (where’s the chocolate?)
A short diatribe about Peanut Butter Me Up ice cream.
6. Letter to Jury’s Inn (turn the lights off)
A back and forth correspondence with the Jury’s Inn in Brighton, requesting that they stop leaving their meeting room lights on late at night.